In counseling with married couples, they could sometimes think that the counselor does not really understand the challenges they are facing. When a couple think they are faced with challenges that are far too serious to be resolved, I always like to inquire of them if they are the only ones ever to face such a problem.
Many couples don’t think it’s possible to know how to survive an affair. When folks like these encounter examples of couples who had to cope with challenges like theirs and yet went through it to became even stronger, they derive strength and hope from it.
No marriage can presume to be faced with a problem never before faced by anyone. Apart from a new counselor, most counselors would have encountered any marriage issues you have to present to them over and again. The usefulness of marriage counseling depends on the willingness and readiness of the couple to repair their marriage.
There are lot’s of examples of couples who go for affair mainly on the insistence of one of the couple. One person goes with high hopes whilst the other goes only for the sake of it. In lot’s of cases, the forced partner believes they are wasting their time. With this mindset, nothing tangible can be achieved.
Any therapist with experience would know not to continue unless he or she has succeeded in drawing out the forced partner. The whole therapy would actually be a waste of time if the lethargic partner isn’t made to realize a need for the therapy.
It’s not our desire here to try to discuss what causes extra marital affairs. We all know that nothing can ever justify an affair. I know that some circumstances could be so trying that it appears to push one into an affair. Saying this reminds me of a childless couple I knew a while back. After doing a number of tests, nothing was found to be the matter with either of them.
For some reason, the woman believed that they were childless because of her husband’s inability to perform. She kept on blaming the husband for their failure to have kids. This continued until the man felt a need to prove himself, so he went out and got another woman pregnant. I am happy to say that the marriage survived the affair and the wife who still has no kids of her own, put a stop to the accusations.
Despite the fact that what we are actually looking at is how to survive and affair, I strongly think it is more necessary to know how to prevent one. In the absence of an affair, there would be absolutely no need to ask how to survive one.
If there’s one thing that can aid marriages greatly, it’s communication. Any couple that actually communicates with each other would not encounter any problem they won’t be able to take care of. When there’s no communication, things are stored up in the heart until they rush out like a volcanic eruption.
Ensure that you communicate with your partner on a very deep level and you would never meet a problem too big to be fixed.













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